The Season of Thanksgiving

This was lead by Laura Mayo, the Senior Minister of Covenant Church and is active in Houston interfaith work.

 We began with deep breathing exercises to settle in - breathe in for 5, hold for 7, breathe out for 8 - because counting shows intention in breathing. And, the body responds to that intention by relaxing.

I love local KUHF News 88.7, but I grow weary of being asked for money every time I get in my car. I am tempted to just listen to podcasts or an audible on my way to work. It is not just the ask that takes up so much of the programing it is also the guilt: “What is reliable news worth to you - $50 and month, $100, $500?” If you listen every day you really need to be a sustaining member.” “We rely on you to keep these programs running.” “Consider what you get from listening and now consider what you give - you might find the value you receive is much larger than what you give, now is the time to do your part.”

The message is clear: You get from us so you need to give to us. And if you need to get more in order to give, we will throw in this t-shirt, or this mug, or this tote bag, or meals for hungry seniors through our partnership with Meals on Wheels.

It begs the question, is it really giving? If you are giving in exchange for what you are getting, isn’t that a transaction rather than a gift?

Diana Butler Bass, in her book Gratitude: the Transformative Power of Giving Thanks, describes a gap between our desire to be grateful and our ability to behave gratefully. She also describes the difference between individual and communal gratitude. Individual gratitude can be the deep appreciation of an experience or a gift. Bass suggests this is a helpful and good spiritual practice, but as a culture, we have often understood gratitude as transactional: you give me something/do something for me and I owe you: tit for tat!

And so, especially in the fall, in the season of “Thanksgiving,” we are plagued by hierarchical gratitude, by notions of reciprocity.

What if we separated gratitude from transaction? What would it look like to give with no expectation of return? Forget about reciprocity, this is not give and take. This is what Bass calls communal gratitude; it is horizontal, conjuring an image of people around a table. It is giving and receiving and giving again.

We then moved into the Nature Preserve with the encouragement to pause every ten steps to consider what we give with no expectation of return and then the next ten to consider what we receive with no need give back, or in some cases, no ability to give back.

In closing, we reflected on our experience and then considered what the famous German theologian, Meister Eckhart, is most remembered for saying, “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.” Thinking about those words and wondering what it would look like to have thank you as motivation for giving - not exchange or tit for tat or guilt or requirement - just thank you, leads us to true gratitude.

Alluvial Fan Trail, RMNP.