This was lead by Laura Mayo, the Senior Minister of Covenant Church and is active in Houston interfaith work.
We began our time together with some meditative breathing. We breathed in for 4 counts, held our breath for 4 counts and breathed out for 4 count. When distracted, we gently brought ourselves back to our breathing. We used joy as a word of mantra to help us do this by letting the word, joy, be the signal to return to breath.
In our discussion of this, we noted the layers of what we could hear in the forest when we claimed quiet.
We then moved into a discussion of joy. Native Houstonian, now Oprah and TED Talk famous, Dr. Brené Brown, tells a story of standing over her two kids while they slept. Just as a profound sense of love and joy would wash over her, she would imagine horrible things happening to them: car crashes, tsunamis, and the like. Brown now knows from her research that 95 percent of parents can relate to this kind of constant disaster planning. Yet, being a parent is not required for this imagination. Many of us can remember imagining all sorts of tragedies that might befall our loved ones well before ever (or even if never) becoming a parent. When we're overwhelmed by love, Brown concludes, we feel vulnerable—so we dress-rehearse tragedy.
Brown believes joy is “the most terrifying and difficult emotion we feel as humans.” She explains: “How many of you have ever sat up and thought, ‘Wow, work’s going good, good relationship with my partner, parents seem to be doing okay. Something bad’s going to happen'?” This instinct within us, she believes, comes from our inability to be vulnerable. Our intense feelings of joy are so often accompanied by a sense that this cannot last, that something will go wrong, that this will be snatched away from us.
The problem with this kind of disaster planning is that worrying about things that haven't happened doesn't protect us from pain. We cannot allow fear to steal our joy. This is not a practice of pretending joy, not pretending everything is okay. Sometimes things are not okay. Denying we are hurting is not the path to joy. And likewise denying ourselves joy is not the path to being pain-free.
It is our fear of what may happen in the future that often prevents us from feeling joy in the present. Brown suggests this: “The next time you're traumatized by ‘What ifs,’ say aloud, ‘I am feeling vulnerable.’” She continues, “This sentence changed my life. It takes me out of my fear brain - i.e., off the crazy train - and puts me back on the platform, where I can make a conscious choice not to re-board.” Next she says, “Be thankful.” And then explains: “I learned in my research: Joyous people are grateful people. Speak your gratitude aloud to others, or write it in your journal.” She concludes, “Start a practice. I believe joy is a spiritual practice we have to work at. For me, that means appreciating everyday moments. It means not living in fear of what I could lose, but instead living in and savoring the moments I have."
Leaning into joy means leaning into gratitude. The suggestion for our walk was that we do some literal leaning - the trees will support us - and as we leaned, we were encouraged to think about the everyday moments of joy in our lives. For those who didn't want to literally lean on a tree, they could notice something leaning. We were invited us to pause at least 5 times - 5 times to consider joy: to consider when you might be experiencing joy as foreboding and instead to acknowledge that we feel vulnerable and lean into joy.
After walk we reflected on our experiences and then spent some time meditating on this quote by Brené Brown:
“Twinkle lights are the perfect metaphor for joy. Joy is not a constant. It comes to us in moments - often ordinary moments. Sometimes we miss out on the bursts of joy because we're too busy chasing down the extraordinary moments.”
“Other times we're so afraid of the dark we don't dare let ourselves enjoy the light. A joyful life is not a floodlight of joy. That would eventually become unbearable. I believe a joyful life is made up of joyful moments gracefully strung together by trust, gratitude and inspiration.”
